Its now girl let this ship sail!

Linda says Congratulations on your blog! I am one who wants to not live my life so serious, I thrive on being able to move and adapt. I’m a restless soul that wants to take in a little bit of all I can before it’s all over. Do I get depressed? Heck yeah, but I’m going to pack up that and take it with me and cast it to the wind as I go. It’s now girl is a great playground, sandbox, etc.. A place to go to have fun, get deep into it, or a place to roar with laughter! I’m on board, let this ship sail!

You are so right Linda!  I want this blog to be a fun & informative – a playground, if you will, where women can come ask questions and comment on issues that affect us.  On this site there is no wrong question to ask nor topic to touch on. It is simply a virtual coffee house where women can network & discuss all topics of interest that are affecting, either positively or negatively, their lives.

From relationships to crafting to great recipes to share hair and makeup tips or questions.  Anything and everything you can think of that we women enjoy  and desire to address as well as discuss.

Linda you sound like a woman who knows what she wants with her life and goes for it.  That plus a bit of gypsy blood gives you your zest for life.  We could all learn a bit from your philosophy.

Lets travel through life, together  even if we are just traveling to the corner grocery store.   Its all in your attitude.

You are the poster girl for this blog Linda.  The type of woman that epitomizes “Its now girls” goal. Fun, facts and at times frivolity.  Thank you for coming on board!

Keep me posted.

What do I do with an opinionated control freak?

Lauren writes, “I’m in a relationship with a very opinionated man. He knows everything about everything! He’s rude, self centered and he doesn’t even get it when I point it out. I’m at the point of moving out and moving on. My problem is I know he’s in love with me, I hate to hurt him by saying it’s over. What should I do. I can’t live with a control freak!”

Well… there is a lot going on here Lauren.

First things first- Lauren- your kindness- that is your not desiring to be hurtful is never a good starting point as to whether or not you should be in or stay within a relationship. That is a reaction made from a position of weakness- guilt- and frankly that is a whole other topic.

Let’s tackle the easiest first. It is virtually impossible to change or modify  another’s character and behavior traits without the others comprehension & acknowledgement that there exits problems in the first & has a willingness to change. On our own our wishing it so only leads to continued unhappiness and a significant loss of time.

Another and possibly a more important query would be: ” Is the relationship sufficiently important enough that both you and he would be willing and desirous of professional counseling. If you and or your significant other  are unwilling to do the hard work necessary to confront the  problems than frankly all other explanations, recommendations and or advice are fundamentally irrelevant.

That aside it is important to realize that all relationships have their difficulties in one form or another and when  you reside together, those flaws, difficulties issues, etc… are only more magnified and intensified..

I understand that your issue and comments are directed and centered upon as well as towards your lover . However, without placing blame have you taken a serious look at why you are with a “rude” and “controlling” partner?

What I have uncovered through my own mishaps & travails is that my relationship choices were singularly mine and were a result of the good the bad and the sometimes ugly of my experiences & my reactions to them. Not until I realized that I had to fix me, love me sufficiently enough that not only would I not be in a destructive relationship I was not attracting them either.

Early on in my own – as I call it relationship rehab- is that if a personality type was continuing to appear in my life – it was me who was attracting this kind of person or character flaw.

Cause  don’t we all have a little bit of control freak in us? We don’t really notice it until we are around someone who is more controlling than we are.

What I find the most troubling from your comments is the “rudeness” component. Although, its impact is different upon us all and is defined differently by us all – I would ask you what is the nature of this “rudeness” – how does it manifest itself, is it done privately – publicly or both-? His rudeness can be an indication of his disrespect for you in such a manner and frequency that no matter what can only leave you in disharmony, sadness and a personal loss of self.

Lauren equally important is that you never shared within your comment that you were in love with him. I think that is the key. Certainly something to reflect upon.

Lauren I can not nor will I tell you to stay or move on but I will suggest this. Read what you wrote to me. Write down each negative then start a column of positives. I think you already know what is best for you. Seeing it in writing will bring clarity.

It’s now girl, its your life -take control- you know where you want to be & should be – and always follow your instincts and intuition-

Keep me posted.

the speak-easy

Not unlike my life the process of commencing this blog has been a journey-scary- intimidating  yet necessary. Heck you can’t get there until you take that first step. So here I am – exposed with warts and all – giving you what I can and taking what you have to offer.

I have started  in 3 cities 2 different states under 2 domain names not certain as to its focus or frankly what is it I wanted to share.  I migrated from animals to humans trying to determine where my passion lay and where, if at all, I could have the most impact for both myself as well as others. To say the least I was just a tad confused.

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For those who know me this is & was not surprising. You see the confusion comes from…. well where I am at in my life- having gone through many a transformational experience- some good- some not so good and most still experiencing.

I began with Postcards From a Semi-Mad Woman, a title lovingly provided by my husband, and appropriately received. You see my life , as I am certain yours as well, created dynamics that  has provided me a personality & perspective with a healthy dose of quirks, lucidity, dysfunction and knowledge. So I am not completely mad nor irreparably sane- I am a confluence or better yet an amalgamation of the good, the bad & the ugly.

Then during one of my James Joycian, steam of consciousness head jerks I simultaneously came up with “It’s Now Girl” – a call to action- honestly more for myself than for you- because although the semi mad woman had a lot to offer – she was stuck in fear and could not free herself from those constraints. Its now Girl requires me to act- pushes me forward- as I hope it does for you as well.

One thing I was clear about is that I desired to generate and participate in a dialogue….. a conversation about ideas and solutions that is woman – centric, covering all matters and issues of concern to us, as woman, from our perspective. Yes, I will from time to time share with you my goings on, although this is not about me but us.

Without sounding condescending or intellectually superior I am meagerly confident that my life experience as intriguing, beautiful & painful as its’ been can provide insight  to others.

Postcards From a Semi-Mad Woman & Its Now Girl are merged.  This fits me to a tee and represents my inexperience in the world of blogging.  I will look back on this and laugh I am sure.  For now I am sweating bullets.

Questions?  I’m ready to answer. Conversations I am ready to engage in- advice I can & desire to provide. It’s now girl – let’s go!