#ShartleEtiquette

Sorry men but I must go here.  I am sure many women; mothers, girlfriends and wives alike wonder what it is that causes men to shartle.  

Shartle
When one sharts due to sudden unseen excitement or state of shock.

Without going into graphic detail most know what a shartle is.  For those who are confused – Ladies it is when you pick your mans jockeys up by the corners and hold them arms distance as you run them to the laundry room.  

What is up men? I know your mothers taught you how to wipe properly, or did they?  Is it a man thing that when you feel the need to pass gas you “push” extra hard to make sure you get the most relief? 

I am at a loss. All I know is my panties have never experienced the shame of a shartle. I would worry I smelled of ass if I walked around all day knowing I had basically left a partial load in my drawers.

So from all of the women in your life who have the illuminating task of doing your laundry – try wiping better, don’t worry how manly your farts smell or sound and most importantly if you know you have shartle drawers do your own damn laundry!

#OfMenandDogs

I rescued a male Chinese Crested Powderpuff last March, my first male dog. I am a fur baby momma, no human children. I have always had female dogs, Harlow my 5lb Chihuahua is a dream dog, pee-pad friendly, never misses the mark. 

Along comes Chaplin. Nickname “Dennis the Menace”. He is all boy and won my heart immediately with the hug he gave me when first I picked him up. Love at first sight. He came home with me that day. My first son!

Now to my conundrum, Chaplin knows to “potty” outside. Harlow decides for herself if she wants to go out or sleep in and use her pad. I understand how that could be a little confusing for Chaplin. He is so sweet and tries hard to mimic his “big” sister most notably If he can’t wake me up for an emergency walk.  Hence the problem.  

Little boys tend to miss the mark so to speak.  He hits the pee-pad for the most part but as with all men as the stream slows the mark is harder to hit. As I was blotting my little mans miss this morning I noticed something on the “people” potty that made me smile. Big human boys tend to miss the mark too!

So although I do not have human boys to compare in my little observation, I do have a husband. I am pretty sure that boys big and small, animals and human alike have the same rather annoying habit.  Missing the mark when it comes to using the potty.

I know this seems off topic for me but having to clean up “misses” first thing in the morning can be rather depressing.  Maybe I’m not as off topic as I thought –  It is a different kind of depressing I will admit.  More fractional, you know that short time you feel sad.  I mean who wants to wipe up pee first thing in the morning?  As I say to my husband “it geeks me out.”  

What is the answer to this urinary problem?  I have no idea.  Tell my husband to slow down, reprimand him when he misses? Wait that would be Chaplin.  Oh my I really am confused, I love my boys.

Alas, I guess like the age old “put the toilet seat down” argument all couples seem to have at some point in their relationship, my missed mark issue will have to go in the “a woman’s work is never done” file.  

Cheers

Marlene

#ThankYou

I want to take today’s blog and thank everyone who stops by my site, those who like it, those who don’t and those who share comments with me. 

When I started Postcards I wanted it to be as interactive as possible.  I am learning, with your help, how to achieve that. 

I have dabbled with long and short posts. I have settled, for now, on shorter to the point posts that call for comment. 

I have also been testing what days seem best for you as a reader. I have decided I will be a weekend blog. That way I can spend Mon-Thurs writing and editing for a three day run.  Of course that could change too,  I am prone to indecisive action

I am blessed and excited to be going to Phoenix this Friday for the WP Conference.  If anyone reading this is going please let me know, I would so enjoy meeting!

Without WordPress I would not have discovered what a wonderful outlet blogging can be. There is so much I want to learn to make my site one you will want to continue visiting.

As it is Sunday, that means Funday.  Let’s try to make at least one happy memory today! 

Cheers

Marlene

#MenLieBadly

How many women have ever looked at a man in amazement as he is staring you in the eye  lying. I am talking stupid lies. “No honey I have not had a drink.”  Meanwhile he is slurring and smells like a brewery. How stupid do you think I am?  If you try to reason with him an inane argument erupts.  Somehow it ends up to where it is your fault. What the fuck.  Seriously, there  is nothing more irritating than a man lying. I have not met one who did not need lying lessons.  So ladies here is some sage advice from my husbands mother; nod and smile. You can think anything as you nod and you will avoid an argument about the stupid lie he is trying to sell as you smile.   


Cheers

Marlene